from attraction to distraction: managing workplace romance

From Attraction to Distraction: Managing Workplace Romance
September 18, 2024

We all have office romance stories—whether we were involved or witnessed them firsthand, there are often more horror stories than happy endings. I encountered one early in my career. My employer’s HR and communications teams were so bitterly at odds that an investigation was launched. It revealed that not only were the department heads romantically involved, the communications director had secured a promotion only because the HR manager fed them the assessment and interview questions. When their relationship soured a few months later, the HR lead began orchestrating situations to expose their former partner’s unfitness for the role.

When handled with professionalism, workplace relationships can bring positive energy to a team. Shared values and goals can lead to stronger bonds, better collaboration, and even increased morale and productivity. When two people in a relationship are working well together, they can bring a problem-solving mindset and buzzing energy that benefits the entire organization. The deeper level of companionship between two teammates can create a level of communication that leads to more innovative solutions and ripples out to create more cohesive team dynamics. 

However, romantic relationships at work come with risks. Conflicts of interest, especially between supervisors and subordinates, can lead to favoritism or power imbalances. As in my earliest exposure, if the relationship sours, personal disputes spill over into the workplace, distracting employees and reducing productivity. Team dynamics often suffer, as other employees might feel uncomfortable or like they are being passed over for their superior’s sweetheart regardless of merit. This is especially true in smaller teams where everyone is closely involved in day-to-day interactions.

To do our best to mitigate the negative side effects, It’s crucial employers have a clear, fair policy on workplace romance that includes a disclosure process to manage conflicts of interest. By creating an environment where employees feel comfortable disclosing relationships, employers can support them in establishing boundaries and maintaining professionalism. Transparent disclosure procedures enable organizations to proactively address potential complications, such as ensuring that the involved parties do not work directly together or that there are failsafes to prevent preferential treatment.

Employers should also provide regular training on harassment and workplace relationships. Everyone, from interns to executives, should follow the same process—same forms for disclosure, same consequences for violating policies. Consistency will foster the depth of trust and accountability needed to prevent and de-escalate issues.

Whether or not you’re currently in a workplace relationship, it’s important to understand your company’s policies. Knowing the rules can help you navigate others’ relationships or make informed decisions should you find yourself in one. Before diving into a workplace romance, take a moment to imagine the worst-case scenario. How would you handle it if the relationship went seriously south? The answer will help you understand what kind of support you need to avoid pitfalls so all your relationships are healthy, whether at home or at work. 

Follow company guidelines and, if possible, avoid working in the same department or supervising one another. This isn’t just a matter of policy—it’s about your integrity. Relationships go through ups and downs, and you can take measures so those fluctuations don’t affect your team or damage your sense of self.

Good luck to all the office lovebirds and their patient coworkers. See you next week.  

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